i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You took a bar mat shot.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
