White coat. Heels.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
