Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
