Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
