Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Found your dick twin last night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
