You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
