I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Randomize
