Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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