everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
