I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
