She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
