So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
