I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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