So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
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