At least make sure they are 18
Why
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
