He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
