I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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