I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
