Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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