I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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