I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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