ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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