I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
