That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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