I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize