I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
love makes seman taste better
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
