hell yes lets make some ravioli
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
