So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
