and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
