And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
