I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Randomize
