i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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