Me too!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
