I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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