I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
