i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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