Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
