i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
