I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
