Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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