Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
