I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
id be glad to
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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