would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
