Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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