All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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