Whod you bang
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
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