mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
