brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize