We named our party play list daddy issues
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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