I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
