You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
