Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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