i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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