She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
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she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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