Whod you bang
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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