My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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