Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
