That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
