Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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