i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
