ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
