At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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