hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
