So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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