We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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