Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
